It is said that forgiveness is good for the soul. And yet when we examine the world in which we live, when we closely examine our own lives, we see that there are many people preaching forgiveness but very few actually put it into practice.

We claim to love those close to us yet we can’t forgive our brother for a ten-year-old error on judgment, or our sister for some wrongs she inflicted upon us ages ago. We can’t forgive the teacher who insulted us in class, nor our neighbour for his inconsiderate act. And we definitely can’t exonerate ex-lovers for making use of us. It seems that we can’t even forgive ourselves for the stupid mistakes that we made on our own journey through life.

Worse still, sometimes, we feign forgiveness with the proclamation, “I’ll forgive you but I’ll never forget!” Or the equally convincing, “I’ll never completely forgive you!” But you can’t partially forgive someone just like you can’t partially fall off a tree. You either do or you do not.

We also have the tendency to rationalise our blame with remarks like, “Yeah, but you don’t know what she did to me. I can’t forgive her.” We even seem proud of ourselves when we don’t forgive as though it were a great virtue. It is not virtuous. There is no great feat of strength in carrying the carcass of a long-dead argument. Holding a grudge is easy. You can do it without even trying.

It takes strength, discipline and great understanding to forgive. I believe it is a great weakness of the human spirit that forgiveness is not more widely practised.

Our lack of forgiveness is killing us – literally. Our failure to pardon manifests a resentment that grows with the passing of time. It becomes an internal time bomb of bitterness, triggered and perpetuated by every unforgiving gesture. This has a catastrophic effect upon our physiology. Every time the grudge is replayed like an old movie in our mind, it activates the release of stress hormones into the blood stream. These stress hormones lay dormant in our bodies, acting like a toxic bath for the soft internal muscles like the heart, lungs, intestines, bladder and bowel. Even brain cells are killed by these stress hormones. Adding to this, the fact that our immune system is greatly impaired by the stress response and can’t, under those circumstances, adequately defend the body against infiltrating viral and cancerous cells, and as such we have a recipe for disaster, even death.

It is estimated that the majority of all contemporary illness has its root in stress. So every time we relive past upsets, our bodies relive them too, as though for the very first time. This means that someone, who insulted you ten years ago and whom you haven’t forgiven, is still insulting you today – and you’re allowing him to do so!

Logically, the best way to stop people from hurting us is to forgive them. Once we forgive a person, we stop carrying them. However, many people feel that forgiveness is a weakness and this discourages them from any active practise. Forgiveness is actually a great strength that should be nurtured in all people.

Like most things in life, it is better to start small and build up from there. Forgiveness needs to be localised. Forgive the small things and gradually build up to the big ones. Start with yourself. We all have skeletons in our closets. Whatever they are, forgive yourself and move on.

As far as health and fitness is concerned, forgiveness is cathartic; an internal cleansing that is an integral piece of the longevity jigsaw. We achieve inner health only through forgiveness – the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves. So if you want to stay fit for life, start with a little forgiveness.